Relationships can either make or mar a person and their future sucess .This is why it’s important to be very careful in selecting partners/spouses . As women , a lot of things can make us fall hard for a man .Ranging from how they look, stories they tell us about themselves or even how they treat strangers .
Sometimes against our judgements , we fall for the same type of guys over and over again only to have the same experiences with them .In Mr. Amari Soul’s words
Sometimes, you get so frustrated that you think you’d be better off alone . That love is not worth the headache and pain . My dear beautiful strong Woman,it’s not love that causes the heartache and pain , it is the wrong men you choose.
These words brings me to this important fact .CHOICE!…Our life is a sum total of all the choices we’ve made and will make . Therefore, if you at any point suspects a relationship to be unhealthy , Flee!.. What’s the use of staying put if all your partner does is make you feel like crap. Always remember , that you said Yes yesterday doesn’t mean you should say Yes today .
The truth is , in Life, there are the good guys, the bad ones and the guys you shouldn’t even bother to know . In as much the dating process is a risk in itself , having guidelines on guys to stay away from will go a long way to ensure we have and cultivate healthy relationships. Therefore, i’ve painstakingly taken my time to study and compile a list of ”guys you shouldn’t bother knowing” .
- The Commitmentphobe Guy
These guys come in different shapes , sizes and walks of life. He could be tall, dark and handsome , with a charming and friendly personality . He could be all you’d ever want in a guy . A dream come true. The only problem is, he’s afraid of commitments and won’t commit to anyone , not even you. .He tells you he might be in love with you yet is not willing to commit .
He usually admits upfront that he has commitment issues but that doesn’t stop him from being a little too caring for you and your wellbeing(this ofcourse leaves you wondering if maybe you could change his mind .Nope sister ..You can’t!.. Just move on )This kind of guy is bad news because even though he’s not interested in commiting , he’s also not interested in letting you go (this repels potential suitors ).
- The Player
Know this guy?..Well he’s quite easy to spot out. He’s the guy that catches your attention ..and the attention of so many other girls . He’s usually witty and interesting . The kind of guy you’d like to show off to your family and friends .
He might even love you . The problem is, he loves many other women at the same time. Sex with you is mind blowing …as is sex with every other woman he’s having it with(of course he won’t tell you this part . He’d lie, deceive and slither his way into your skirt , as well as the skirt of many others . Devoting his time to make you feel like the special one). The truth is, you’d never be his one and only because to him , Variety is the spice of life.
- The Manipulator
This is the most dangerous of them all . At first, he’s charming and pleasing .He’s got loads of charisma and is quick thinking, saying only those things he knows you like to hear especially things like ”i’ve never felt like this with anyone before” or ” i feel we have such a deep connection” .(hopefully no one falls for such pick up lines anymore).
This guy lacks empathy and is willing to manipulate you into thinking you’re insecure , jealous , paranoid or even plain crazy especially if his actions are questioned. He might even goes as far as controlling who you interact with, what you wear and places you go to.
If care is not taken, he might become physically abusive in the long run. (Does this remind you of someone?..if yes, disassociate yourself from such a person ).
- The Married Guy
These type of guys should come with a ”NO TRESPASSING” sign. One might ask Why?..well, for one, he’s married! to someone that isn’t you. He’ve made a ”through thick and thin, till death do us part” vow with someone else . Infact, how do you think everything will pan out?..He’d leave his wife for you?..What do you think will happen if the wife finds out?
It’s true that some ladies either aren’t aware of a man’s relationship status or they find out about it after they’ve fallen in love with the guy (this is the part where i’d tell every lady to make sure they’ve carried out their research properly before saying yes to any man to avoid stories that touch ). Whatsoever the case may be , stay away from these kind of men. There’s just too much drama involved for your piece of mind .
- The No Ambition Guy
This guy is not very motivated . He’s quite comfortable with settling with whatsoever life dishes out to him . And most times, he’s not very accountable for his actions .
Despite the fact that most times, they’re sweet natured and loving , they’re not the type of guys to go for if you’re a career woman . Think of all the misunderstandings that’d arise as a result of your different views of life.
- The guy you’re not proud of/ the guy you always have to apologise for
This is quite explanatory on its own . There’s absolutely no reason staying with a guy you’re not proud of or a guy you have to constantly apologise for.
- The Mr. Unavailable
This is the guy who breaks plans, behave inappropriately , hurts you with his actions and then always have excuses as to why he did it.Infact, he’s never available when needed. That’s his specialty.
- The Switch Guy/ Mr. On and Off
This type will do just about anything to get you to stay put in his roller coaster ride of up and down emotions . Never certain of you and what you mean to him. One moment, you’re ”the one” and the next moment, he’s not sure of where you two stand.
Its important to note that with this kind of guy, it’s not just a phase. It’s simply a glimpse of what the rest of your life will look like if you stayed put with him. This begs the question, are you ready to put up with all these?
- The Guy that’s not over his Ex
Just as you’d predict , there’d be lots of comparisons and hurtful words thrown around. Just stir clear . Don’t be the rebound lady.
- The Cheapskate
He’s never comfortable spending on you . Always on a tight budget.He even goes as far as acting like being with you is straining his pocket. (No, i didnt say he has to steal to maks sure you’re comfortable.Love is in actions, not in words).
Finally, despite all of these, Dear ladies, i can assure you that we still have good guys out there.People that are smart, funny, hardworking, ambitious, socially as well as mentally balanced . Until you find them, never settle!.
Did you find these helpful?..Share your thoughts in the comment section .