Body shaming: How to rise above it

“Ughh.. What happened Mercy! You’re so skinny.. Haven’t you been eating”?

“Oh my God!…Girl!, are you sick or something because I don’t understand why you look like this”.

“Ughhh.. You look like you’re going to disappear any minute. What is wrong with you! You need to take more vegetables, beans, fish, a lot of red oil and less red meats .Drink Malt and peakmilk every evening for 2 weeks and watch how fat you’d get” .

These and more were some of the things I heard growing up. From distant family members, friends, even from total strangers. For a while, I dared not undress in front of others for fear of what they might say or suggest.I wore my clothes at all times and had my bath only when less people were awake (people that went to a boarding school will know more about sharing a bathroom)

In fact, The first HIV test I went for(which was negative by the way) was courtesy of their talks.We had just returned for a new semester in the University and as expected, people were well rounded in several places except for me of course (apparently, the fat allocated to me had travelled to Beijing and wasn’t coming back anytime soon).After getting a lot of side eyes from the “now size 8 but will still come back to size 6 in the middle of the semester people ,I felt I needed answers, so off I went in search of answers.

At this point, I need to remind everyone that bodyshaming can happen to just about anybody. You can be body shamed because of your height, size, complexion and even facial or body structures. It could be for ridiculous reasons like the size of your teeth, eyes, nose, eyes or any other body parts, it can be as a result of the way you walk, talk, eat or even laugh and it’s not restricted to a certain age (a 2years old baby can be bodyshamed same way as a 50something years old person).

Oftentimes than not, the “Bodyshamed person ” is left with a low self esteem.Take my case for instance.Not only did I feel different from the others, I also figured there was something wrong with me. This means I had to spend my teenhood measuring up and trying to live up to the society’s standard. I tried so hard blending in instead of standing out. I figured that if I acted or looked a certain way ,my size won’t be too obvious.

It took me a lot of years,reading and learning to finally accept and love my body the way I do now. In fact, I couldn’t have possibly asked for a better body. My size is cute and cuddly and I love every inch of it. I can say I’m finally at peace with myself and I’d like to share some tips that’d help any and everyone find peace with themselves.

  • PRACTICE THE SIEVE METHOD

What we hear constantly helps shapen our thoughts and habits. Stay away from people who have nothing good to say to you. Especially on social media where we have a lot of trolls. Feel free to use the block or delete button. No one’s going to question you for that.

  • BE YOUR OWN CRITIC

In a good way of course. Try to be sincere with yourself no matter what. Are you living a healthy lifestyle? Are you the way you are because of something you’re doing or not doing (for instance, a slim person might want to eat more healthy foods and a fat person might want to cut down on some things)If it’s something you can change, change it but if you can’t, accept you the way you are and move on. Note—-you’re not doing it for anyone other than yourself. Your health and total well-being is important.

  • KNOW YOUR BODY,LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF

When you do, you place yourself high above trolls and negativity (imagine someone coming to tell me I’m so tiny, of course I know I am and I love it like that. Nope, I’m not going to run to somewhere crying.. I already know what you’re saying, can we move on now?)

Loving yourself also entails speaking up for your self. Don’t let anyone bully you and never try to hide for fear of what people might say.

it also means not comparing yourself with anyone or wishing you were someone else. Nope, Jacinta’s butt is not better than yours neither is Joseph’s arms better than yours. You are amazing the way you are. Never forget this.

At the end, we need to understand that people’s opinions don’t validate your existence. It’s their opinion afterall and you have the right to either accept it or reject it.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. That said, have you ever been bodyshamed? How did you deal with it?

30 thoughts on “Body shaming: How to rise above it

  • July 29, 2018 at 1:50 pm
    Permalink

    This happens a lot to me…you are too fat..what are you eating..do exercise ..your stomach is too big…cloth won’t size you anymore…men don’t like thick ladies blah blah blah..my man should love me for me…not because I’m big…the comment use to affect me before because I had a low self esteem..now I don’t care…i love me

    Reply
    • July 29, 2018 at 1:55 pm
      Permalink

      Yayys boo.. We shouldn’t let other people’s opinions get to us. Thank you for stopping by

      Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 2:05 pm
    Permalink

    Beautiful piece up there! Ride on Mercy!!!

    Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 3:12 pm
    Permalink

    This is cool. Though I haven’t been bodyshamed, I enjoyed the consistent flow of your thoughts annd words, which were direct, true, and friendly. Thumbs up.

    Reply
    • July 29, 2018 at 3:55 pm
      Permalink

      Thank you Aaron. You must have the perfect body lol..I’m glad you enjoyed reading it

      Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 4:43 pm
    Permalink

    Listening to people’s opinions did me a lot of bad than good until I learnt how to have more confident about me. So now as long as I feel good about myself nobody’s opinion matters.

    Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 6:07 pm
    Permalink

    This should be out in the newspapers.

    Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 6:15 pm
    Permalink

    Okay, this was a beautiful read and I can totally relate to it, having been skinny shamed all my life.

    I like the picture graphics you used, they’re so neat and properly done.

    Nice job

    Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 6:52 pm
    Permalink

    I have been body shamed I even experienced it today I have stories lots and lots. Swtiee it affected me alot growing up but I thank God for the grace he has given me these past few years these things now sting a little like today’s experience but it doesn’t hurt deeply.

    Reply
    • July 29, 2018 at 7:00 pm
      Permalink

      Aww dear.. I can totally relate, I think of it as their opinions and don’t let it affect me. You totally should too. I just want to remind you that you’re amazing inside and out, whomever that doesn’t see this is missing out on a lot ❤..lots of love and hugs

      Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 7:14 pm
    Permalink

    The consistent flow of word thrilled me, the pictures used also sent more messages asides your write-up. Thumbs up, ma’am.

    Reply
  • July 29, 2018 at 10:45 pm
    Permalink

    Bodyshaming is the word. Those guys followed me like people from my village. I really felt different from the world, I had plenty guys as my friends since the girls mouth no go rest.
    They accepted my fate as a top girl, they are all resting in the village now.
    Plus I have added few ounces.

    Reply
    • July 30, 2018 at 1:05 am
      Permalink

      😁😁😁osheee revenge body.. Hopefully, you didn’t let all of them bully you into becoming what you are not. Thanks for reading ❤

      Reply
  • July 30, 2018 at 5:22 am
    Permalink

    Wow thumbs up baby girl. I pride in you (in Jennifer’s voice) . I used to be a victim of body shamming too. My folks, neighbors (not as such though, cos I don’t give them opportunity to talk to me), my family members(especially mercy uka, my immediate younger sister, will often tell me “Ola your tummy is big, you have a fat face, its as if when you want to eat you send your siblings away to eat alone”, and all that. But now I kinda have so much confidence in myself that no matter what people say, I SLAY WITH MY BIG TUMMY. I owe no one a flat tummy. Lots of love.

    Reply
    • July 30, 2018 at 7:38 am
      Permalink

      Ahh Ola, me too 🙆🙆🙆😥😥stop casting us in public please.. I love you ❤..you’re an amazing person.. Thank you for not letting my words get to you(even though I did not say it o) .. You’d kuku knock me if I ever say something like that 😂😂

      Reply
  • July 30, 2018 at 7:28 am
    Permalink

    Love it!!.
    In my own case, I realized i was body shaming myself , some people were actually but I did it more unconsciously and the moment i realized that. I started working on my mind. And I’m not there yet but I’m not where I used to be in terms of “Loving myself and my plus size body”.

    Thank you Honey for this post ❤

    Reply
    • July 30, 2018 at 7:44 am
      Permalink

      Thank you so much for sharing boo.. You’re absolutely correct, sometimes we’re the ones bodyshaming ourselves most times unknowingly. I’m glad you’re taking this self love journey because in all sincerity you’re amazing.. Cheers baby

      Reply
  • July 30, 2018 at 7:37 pm
    Permalink

    Thank you for this beautiful piece,
    I have been bodyshamed before, some said my skin is rubbish,some said I don’t have a completion.They adviced me to add honey,carrot and cucumber juice to my cream which I did till my matron in school that year adviced me not to bother about my skin that God gave me the best skin suitable for my body,she said Amanda you are beautifully,specially and wonderfully Designed by God,so don’t bother about people’s opinion.so I worked on my mind now I don’t bother myself with what people say…. Thank you once again dear

    Reply
    • July 30, 2018 at 9:12 pm
      Permalink

      Awwn.. Thank you too for sharing dear Amanda, I’m glad to hear you’ve risen above their talks.. Keep being awesome ❤

      Reply
  • August 3, 2018 at 12:33 pm
    Permalink

    I’ve gotten my own fair share of body shaming and I’m actually glad that right now, I’m super proud to be me… Slim!

    Reply
  • October 1, 2018 at 8:26 am
    Permalink

    This is really awesome
    I recently dropped from a size 10 to 8
    everyone I know is still complaining
    But after reading this I think I now have the perfect answer to give them…
    ‘I love me this way’

    Reply
    • October 18, 2018 at 4:59 am
      Permalink

      You go girl!!!.. We love you the way you are too.. I’m glad you enjoyed reading it

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *