BEAUTY AND CONFIDENCE : 4 STEPS ON HOW TO BE AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU WISH TO BE

For the longest time, I felt that beauty had a standard (well, that’s what the society instilled in us : in me ).

You had to be a certain size(slim most times ) or look a certain way to be considered beautiful. Your teeth had to be sparkling white and your hair had to be perfect at all times. The society had a standard and if you were anything less than what she wanted, you weren’t considered beautiful . This sounds brutal, but that’s the way it is. Lots of people have been body shamed because they look different and don’t meet up to a certain expectation. People are still dealing with low self esteem because of this.( check out this post on Body shaming and how to rise above it)

For a word that’s used so often, it’s surprising to know that beauty has no specific definition.

Beauty means a lot of things to a lot of people. For some, it’s more about the physical appearance while for others, it’s more of what one is made of.

Recently, some amazing ladies and I came together for a cause tagged “ALL SIZES BEAUTIFUL”… We wanted to drive the point that there’s no specific type of beauty home . Beauty is size 2 and size 20. (The pictures are proof that we definitely killed it : figuratively speaking)

From left to right Fadekemi (@thatlagosgirl), Adediwura ( @_callmegold), Mercy (@thatgiftedgirl_), Aderonke ( @fanaticstylist) and Stella (@the_estephany)

In order to shed more light on this theory , I’ve shared below some definitions of Beauty I got from different amazing people I spoke with.

WHAT IS BEAUTY ?

  • Beauty is anything that makes your heart smile.
  • It is an inner quality of a good sense of humor.
  • There’s no such thing as beauty. Beauty is you, beauty is me. God created everyone in a unique way, that’s what makes us beautiful.
  • Beauty is beyond the physical appearances alone. It’s also one’s character. Some people have beautiful faces and ugly hearts.

  • Beauty to me goes beyond having a perfect face. A perfect face with an ugly heart is nothing but a perfect disaster. Beauty means softness, peace mixed with humility.
  • Beauty is being comfortable in your own skin.
  • Beauty is happiness.
  • Beauty is having confidence in yourself.
  • Beauty is intelligence.
  • Beauty is a combination of looks and personality.
  • Beauty is loving yourself for who you are and not what you look like. It’s knowing and accepting who you are despite what others think of you.
  • Beauty is expressing yourself as authentic and unapologetic as you can be.. It is fearless living.

From the definitions above, it is conclusive to say that everyone has a different idea of what beauty is to them. However, we need to understand that beauty is a state of mind same as ugliness. Every one is as beautiful /ugly as they think they are.

Granted, it can be difficult to have self confidence in one’s beauty especially when the society focuses so much on physical appearances. This however shouldn’t make you take drastic measures you’d regret someday all in a bid to look the way you feel is more acceptable.

HOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND FABULOUS IN YOUR SIZE

  • SELF ACCEPTANCE

Accept your self/body size. Don’t shy away from the truth. If you’re a size 8, don’t pretend you’re a 6. Accept your size and take care of yourself if and when you need to.

  • CARE FOR YOUR BODY / HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

After owning your body size, the next step is to take care of the body you have. This includes wearing outfits you feel are appropriate for your age/size and ensuring you’re in a good health condition.

A clean bill of health is a must for everyone. Whether size 4 or size 20. Visit the gym if you must, cut down on your intake of junks and eat healthy.

  • POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

This might sound a bit extreme but I know it works for people. If need be, constantly remind yourself that you are amazing. Speak positive words to yourself the way you know best. Write them down so you can always revisit them when the doubts start creeping in.

  • DEVELOP A THICK SKIN (Figuratively)

You can only truly do this if you’ve followed all the other steps above. You can’t develop a thick skin if you haven’t accepted who you are or taken care of yourself, so ensure you don’t skip any step.

People are always going to have something to say, they’d always have an opinion or suggestion on what size you should be. Realise it is only but “An Opinion” and move on. You live fully and completely when people’s opinions don’t affect you anymore.

Finally, In a world so temperamental, with ever changing trends and beauty standards, your self esteem should not be based on outward validation. Remember, you’re doing yourself a great disservice if you still allow people determine how you view yourself.

P. S– All the amazing people behind these collaboration were tagged on my page @thatgiftedgirl_ so be sure to check them out.

I hope you found this helpful.

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